September 28, 2021
In this episode, Sarah shares a personal experience of taking responsibility for things she did when she was in her narcissistic bitch phase and the importance of being easy on yourself for being human. She shares her perspective on taking responsibility, forgiving yourself and the importance of realizing you’re human. If you are someone that has a tendency to be really hard on yourself, this is a must listen. So much power comes from owning your mistakes, they no longer have the power to own you.
Some quotes from this episode:
You have to learn how to be in conflict by being in conflict.
You have to actually practice, not just read about it in all the books.
We make ourselves out to be so much more wrong and shameful than other people perceive us as.
Especially if it’s something you’re taking responsibility for in the correct and appropriate way.
If you’re saying we both did this - that’s not appropriately taking responsibility.
Conflict and relationships + relating to each other can be a huge challenge - I have found so much empowerment through owning what my part was.
By owning it, it no longer can control me, because I have already accepted that I have been that person.
I can stop dwelling because even though I acted that way, it’s okay - I’m human.
You first have to get right with yourself.
Yes, I did that “terrible” thing, but even though I did that - it’s okay. It’s part of the human experience.
Once you’re good with that, you can go to the other person + fully own your part without them needing to take responsibility for their part or without the need for them to accept you because you have already accepted and forgiven yourself.
When you’ve fully accepted yourself, you will be fully accepted by the other person - because “everyone is a mirror” and yes, if you haven’t taken full responsibility they will still be mad at you, but it’s because you’re also still mad at you for not fully cleaning it up. There’s this energy and friction that happens.
There is so much power in owning the shit you’ve done and knowing that no matter what happened, it’s okay that it happened because it’s part of the human experience. The more that you shame yourself and get mad at yourself about the way that you’ve acted, the more weight that gets added to you, and it builds up energy which makes you take that unwanted, shameful action unconsciously - giving you more to be mad at yourself about.
The more that you can really be okay with yourself making human mistakes, the more love in relationships you will experience because you’ll be able to take responsibility for the things you have done - and the other person will see that you’re really there, and they’ll want to love you for that.
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